Advice: The irreplaceable love of grandparents

Among the numerous blessings of Allah on us are our parents and their parents, or our grandparents. When we come into this world, our grandparents are usually old, weak and well past or nearing retirement age. Consequently, they do not have many engagements and have ample free time.
Since their children are busy with time-consuming jobs and other duties, they find companionship in their young grandchildren. And, on the other hand, with the parents not always free or with enough patience to indulge in pampering them, children have grandparents to turn to, who are ready to grant every wish of the young ones.
It is often said that grandchildren are dearer to a person than their own children. This is true perhaps, because grandparents see their children once again in their grandchildren. This time, however, they have ample time to witness and enjoy their innocence and antics, which they could not do with their children. Thus, grandchildren become dearer to them.
As a result of this strong bond, grandparents shower upon their grandchildren immense love and truly care for their well-being. For such acts of kindness, grandchildren are indebted to their grandparents. And there are numerous ways to try to repay part of this ‘debt’, both in the lives of grandparents and when they are no longer alive.
Life is a roller-coaster ride; one cannot even imagine how unpredictable it can be. I, for one, have witnessed the unpredictability of life. Things were going on very smoothly for us, brothers. Studies and other extra-curricular activities were going smoothly in a routine. Frequently, we would travel to another city to meet our grandparents, who would cheer up on our arrival. And even more frequently, we would call them on the phone and share news of our achievements with them.
We also found in their form someone who would appreciate us, reward us even on our very minor achievements, and encourage us to work even harder. It was their encouragement that kept us focused in the right direction, since they believed in us at a time when we didn’t even know what we were capable of.
Suddenly, life showed us its unpredictability. Our grandma became ill and, after a short course of illness, she passed away, leaving us in grief. From then onwards, only grandpa would attend our phone calls, only he would greet us when we would go to his house and only, he would encourage us to excel in our studies.
The void left by grandma was to remain empty forever! Our grandpa was old, and with old age comes several illnesses. However, he was a man of strong nerves and remarkable patience. He would never tell us about his sufferings so that we would not be distracted from our routine activities. But this did not continue for long, and soon his deteriorating health condition became explicit. We went with him to the mosque to offer Eidul Azha prayer and two weeks later, he was no more among us!
Grandpa had tried hard to partially take the place of grandma for all of us. And when he passed away, both, his and grandma’s, places became empty. A person who was affectionate and caring towards us, who cared for our studies more than we did and who reserved for us our gifts before we got that achievement, left us forever. Now, in his house, we find no one to welcome us, and no one is on the other end of the phone to listen to our big and small achievements. The entire surroundings look deserted and gloomy.
Here, I want to emphasise that all grandparents possess boundless love for their grandchildren, but how they show their emotions can be different. Consequently, grandchildren should also try to repay the acts of kindness, and there are many ways to do so.
What we can do for our grandparents
Just coming and sitting with grandparents, telling them about what you did throughout the day and inquiring about their health is enough to elevate their mood. Many grandparents are fond of board games like Ludo, playing it with them will fill them with joy.
Grandparents also have birthdays, just like we do. Celebrating their birthdays with them, giving them gifts, be it a birthday card or just showing them that they are loved, will mean a lot to them.
You can also tell them about your achievements and notice how happy they become on hearing about them. Concisely, all grandparents just want an assertion of the fact that their grandchildren care for them and that they hold an esteemed position in the eyes of their beloved grandchildren. Give them that assertion in whatever way possible. They certainly don’t need money; they just need time and attention. Spare out some time and attention for them.
When either one or both of the grandparents pass away, the only way we can benefit them is by remembering them in our daily prayers and doing acts of charity and good deeds on their behalf. Remembering the good old days spent with them, making frames of their photos and displaying them on the walls, etc. won’t do them any good. Only our prayers and good deeds will help in elevating their status in the Hereafter.
Grandparents may lie on their beds the whole day, sleep and wake up at odd times of the day, ask one of the household members to fetch them water or some snacks frequently and sometimes have mood swings. They have spent a long and busy life, and now that they are old, all they need is some company, to feel still needed and valued. And who else but grandchildren can make them feel that way?
So spend some time with them, learn from the wisdom they have to share, listen to their stories that contain priceless lessons that will help you later in life, especially when they are no more there to guide and comfort you.
Since they are the parents of your parents, they deserve extra respect and politeness from you, even if you do not understand their old-fashioned ways and ideas. Always polite with them and serve them honestly, because grandparents are a true blessing; their importance is only felt by one who have lost them forever!
In a lot of countries, Grandparents’ Day is celebrated on October 13, but we should not limit celebrating our grandparents to just a single day. Instead, those who are lucky enough to enjoy the presence of their grandparents in their lives, they should utilise every opportunity to spend time with them, and show they love and care, since they won’t be around for long.
Published in Dawn, Young World, October 12th, 2024